He's home!

My soldier is finally home for two weeks, and it has been a whirlwind!  As if Army life isn't crazy enough already . . .

Jonathan had been in transit for a few days by the time I flew to Dallas on Tuesday, February 21.  He had to travel to a couple of different FOB's (Forward Operating Base), then to Kuwait, then to Germany, then to Atlanta, and finally to Dallas -- so he actually left his FOB a little over a week before my flight was scheduled to go out.  Turns out, he got stuck at a FOB in Afghanistan due to snow (yes, it snows in Afghanistan!), and didn't arrive in Dallas until Thursday, February 23.  I had already been there for a couple days and was staying with his friend Nate.  Now, I'm naturally an emotional person, I worry about little things, and I hadn't seen my husband for 7 months, so Nate had a lot to put up with . . . but he did a really good job of keeping me sane and somewhat calm during that 48 hours.  ;)

Thursday morning I went to work with Nate so we could go straight from there to the airport, where Jonathan's flight was tentatively expected to arrive about 2:00 p.m.  I watched episode after episode of Modern Family, constantly checking the time on my phone.  Five minutes felt like an hour as the morning dragged on.  My phone rang at about 9:30 a.m., and I heard Jonathan's voice on the other end.  You have to understand that up until now, I've had phone call after phone call of, "Hey babe, I'm sorry but I'm going to be delayed another day."  So I held my breath as I hoped for good news.  Relief flooded over me as I heard, "Hey, I'm in Atlanta right now, I should be there on the 2:05 flight."  Only a few more hours!

Nate and I left for the airport at about 1:00 p.m., after checking to make sure Jonathan's flight was on time.  I was nervous, excited, anxious.  Can you imagine not seeing your husband for 7 months, and finally being on your way to the airport to pick him up??  There's an exhilaration you will not feel anywhere else!!

The airline screwed up the gate at which his plane was arriving, so Nate and I had to get back in the car and drive to a different area to pick him up.  As we were pulling in to park, I caught sight of Jonathan leaning against a cement column, looking so handsome in his uniform . . . "Let me out right here, I just want to go see him!" I kept telling Nate as he parked the car.  Finally, the moment for which I'd been waiting for 7 months was here.  My legs were shaking and my heart was pounding as I leaped into Jonathan's arms and held him close.  In that moment, the most incredible feeling pulsed through every fiber of my being . . . only fellow Army wives/fianceés/girlfriends know exactly what I'm talking about.  The world around me -- the colors, the people, the sounds, the traffic -- all became a blur.  It sounds cliché, I know, but nothing else mattered in that moment.  It is the most amazing, indescribable feeling I've ever experienced in my life.

Nate did a great job of capturing the moment for us!

(Even though I look incredibly awkward in mid-jump. ;) )

He has a pretty sweet photoblog here!

The United States welcomed Jonathan with open arms . . . and a bout of food poisoning.  Not kidding.  Starting Friday evening, he was down for about a day and a half -- he couldn't keep any food down, and could barely keep any liquids in his body to prevent dehydration.  It was a rough weekend for sure.  He is feeling MUCH better now, though, and is playing Need For Speed next to me on the couch as I type.  :)

It is amazing having my husband home with me.  As we drive in the car, I catch myself gazing out the window and suddenly remind myself that after he goes back to Afghanistan, I'm going to regret not looking over at him more than I did . . . so I glance over and try to memorize every part of him, his muscles, his hands, his arms, his shoulders.  I want to remember everything so vividly, and yet I know that those things that are so real to me right now will slowly fade from memory over the next several months.  I know what the separation feels like.  I know what it is to forget what my husband's kisses feel like, to forget how his hands feel on me.  I know the pain that's coming, and I am powerless to stop it.  All I can do is savor each moment I have right now, each glance, each half-smile that crawls across those lips of his, each touch, each whisper, each laugh, each memory.  As Anne Morrow Lindbergh said:

"If you surrender completely to the moments as they pass, you live more richly those moments."

stressed? chill out.

The week before last was a bit crazy.  And a canker sore popped up in my mouth.  Ouch.

I am quick to tell people that canker sores "are not the herpes thing, that's a COLD SORE, and those are really contagious."  A canker sore is a small ulcer on the inside of one's mouth that heals itself usually in about 10-14 days.  I began researching canker sores and found that the medical community does not know exactly what causes a canker sore -- and, in turn, does not know exactly what will cure one.  There are theories as to what contributes to a sore developing, from one's diet to a lack of certain vitamins to emotional stress.  Many experts believe that a fluke in one's immune system is the main culprit.  One theory based on this belief I found quite interesting:

Basically, your body senses that there is an intruder in the soft tissues of your mouth -- but it isn't really there.  Your brain's like, "Hey, white blood cells, go attack that intruder!"  So they rush off to fight this "infection."  When they arrive at the spot marked 'X', all that's there is normal, healthy tissue.  But the white blood cells are all gung-ho for fighting at this point, so they just do what they do best -- they attack, and they attack hard.  They eat away at what they think is the bad guy, but really it's that normal, healthy tissue in your mouth.  Ouch.

Anyway, so one of these bad boys appeared out of nowhere last weekend.  Being genetically prone + lack of certain vitamins + PMS + high stress = perfect conditions for a sore to develop; so, it's not all that difficult to understand why I got one.  Thankfully, mine is pretty much gone now.  But it got me thinking about stress and how it affects one's body.  I've always thought of stress as a feeling -- if I felt stressed-out or on edge, my body was under stress.  If I didn't feel stressed, then my body wasn't under stress.  However, this is not necessarily true.  Stress is a very literal thing -- there are hormones, such as cortisol, released in one's body that affect the functions of the body.  And in this fast-paced, high-pressure, jam-packed culture we live in, it's important that we take time to take care of ourselves.  So here are some things that I do to lessen my stress . . .

1.  Have you ever been given the advice to take a minute or two to literally sit and do nothing?  Well, have you tried it?  I have, and I'll be the first to say it sounds silly . . . but I'll also be the first to say it really helps lessen stress!  If you have difficulty making yourself do nothing for a few minutes, go here: the quiet place.  There, now you have no excuses.

2.  Light candles.  Especially aromatherapy candles.  As these candles burn, essential oils are released into the air which enter your body as you breathe to help relax and calm you.  You may not consciously realize that your stress is being lessened, but remember:  stress is not always a feeling -- it is literal hormonal activity in your body.

3.  Eat dark chocolate.

It is fairly common knowledge that chocolate releases endorphins in our bodies which make us feel good.  However, dark chocolate not only releases these same endorphins, but also contains powerful antioxidants which help to lower high blood pressure, improve one's skin, and boost one's mood, among other things.  Now, you probably shouldn't go eat a whole bunch of dark chocolate . . . but a couple ounces a day (maybe in place of that cookie or brownie??) can help lower your stress levels.

4.  Smile and laugh.  Seriously.  Need some help?  Here you go.  <-- he has no problem doing it.  Why should you?

Well that's all I have right now.  There are tons of other things that can help reduce stress -- go for a jog, get a massage, take a bath.  Just take some time -- make some time if you have to! -- to take care of yourself for a minute.  You're worth it.

it's time to explore the ocean.

I am about to embark on a new journey.  I've been walking this path for awhile now, and it's time to take a different route, check out some different scenery.  I'm quitting my job.

Say whaaaat???  Yep, I put in my two weeks' notice on Friday, and after my lovely two-week vacation with my husband (whom I haven't seen in 7 months!), I will come back to a different sort of life, a refreshing change.

To be honest, I'm a little anxious.  It will be painful to leave Appletree, where I have invested in the lives of children I've come to love, and where I have cultivated friendships with the amazing ladies with whom I've had the opportunity to work.  However, my decision to leave is one into which I've put a lot of thought, and I believe this is the best choice for me right now.  I have a handful of ideas I want to pursue once I come back from vacation, when my immediate future is free from the restriction of a daily job, and when I will be in desperate need of new and exciting things to distract me from the throbbing loneliness of being torn away from the love of my life yet again.  But that is where the different scenery comes in . . .

I've had an unordinary life.  But, haven't we all?  I was homeschooled from 5th grade - 12th grade, and graduated high school with an acceptance letter to Michigan State University in hand.  I was accepted into the Honors College, and finished my first semester with a 4.0.  (So just try to make an argument that homeschooling is less ideal than any other school!  ;) )  During that first semester, I fell in love with a soldier who was stationed overseas; and, during Christmas break, he asked me to marry him.  We wanted to get married before he deployed in the summer, so we set the date for June 25, 2011.  With the stress of full-time school, part-time work, and planning a wedding, I decided to withdraw during my second semester at State.  I transferred to the Appletree in Wyoming, MI, and moved back in with my parents.  Summer came, and my soldier came with it.  We were blessed to be supported by so many friends and family on our wedding day (some drove or flew across the country to be there for us), and we spent a glorious six weeks together -- two weeks in Michigan, four weeks in Germany -- before we said goodbye, not knowing when we would be with each other again.  Fast-forward seven months, and here we are.  As you can imagine, I feel like the past year has been quite a whirlwind for me.  Exactly one year ago, I made the decision to withdraw from State, drastically changing the course of my life.  I was originally pursuing a degree in Communication, with a specialization in Public Relations.  Did I enjoy it?  Sure.  But I felt feel that is not the direction in which my life is headed.  So where is my life headed??  That brings me here.  To this moment.  To the here and now.

Because the thing is, I think I'm at a time in my life where I don't have to be so concerned about where my life is headed.  Jonathan and I have talked about and agreed on such things as when we'd like to start having children, where we want to settle down, and long-term career/school goals; however, I can't really initiate those plans without my life partner by my side.  And until he comes back home from fighting the bad guys, I wait.  But who says waiting has to be boring and uneventful?  I have an incredible chance to take a different path, immerse myself in new scenery, experience new things, fall in love with a new hobby, get lost in the vibrancy of life.

For one can enjoy a pond by treading water, but will only get to explore the ocean if he chooses to swim.

getting to the oasis.

Morning.  Drag myself out of bed.  Stumble to the kitchen and take a caffeine tablet.  (Yes, every morning -- it's healthier (and less expensive) than Starbuck's.)  Shower, and all that hygiene stuff.  Eat a yogurt.  Remind myself I only have [#] more days until my husband comes home.  Ugh . . . mundane, routine, ughhh . . .

Really, it's only a short amount of time left until Jon's R&R.  I mean, haven't I done this morning routine thing 197 times already since I saw him last?  A few more shouldn't kill me . . .

I'm trying to figure out how to get through these last few weeks without going crazy, though.  The closer it gets, the more slowly time seems to pass.  I don't have a physical countdown, and I'm keeping busy working full-time . . . I'm even trying to distract myself by getting pierced & tattooed.  But all I can see is the long (but in reality it's quite short) stretch of desert land ahead of me until I reach my oasis.  So, how do I distract myself until I get there?  I have a few ideas . . .

1.  I'm going to make this.

Chili Chicken Soup with Cilantro Dumplings

When I saw this recipe, I'm pretty sure I immediately started drooling.  Okay, maybe not, but my mouth definitely dropped open.

2.  I'm going to read a novel my friend lent me called The Red Tent.  I'm not a big reader, but I told her I'd give this a try. . . so we'll see.

3.  I'm going to get another tattoo.  Ha, not really.

4.  I'm going to get up and go to work every day.

5.  I'm going to get my hair done -- I'm longgg overdue for a hair appointment.  Anyone looking for a new hair stylist?  Mine rocks, her name is Kim Marshall, and she makes me look good every time I go to her!

6.  I'm going to enjoy the company of friends, whether that means catching dinner or coffee with someone I haven't seen in awhile, or kicking back with my best friend and a glass of wine after a long day at work.

7.  I'm going to fill the gaps of time with all those regular life things -- I'm going to sleep, pick up groceries, clean my apartment, etc. . . . pretty good gap-fillers, if you ask me.

That's all I can think of right now.  Each day is passing excruciatingly slowly, but I'm sure Jon's R&R will be here -- and gone -- in the blink of an eye.  I need to learn how to better cherish life in the here and now, even if I'm waiting for something.  Because that thing I'm waiting for -- it will be here, eventually, and I will get to enjoy it then.  In the meantime, I can enjoy the beautiful moments right now, in the present . . . because I don't want to look back and realize I let life pass me by while waiting.